Member Spotlight: Kelli & Donna

Recently Kelli and her husband found themselves living in a new area with new twin girls and without family support. So she took the brave step of posting a need on Twoshirts.org for a “surrogate grandmother.” Twoshirts Member Donna Robbins jumped at the chance, and the two have now formed a kind of family relationship.

We were blown away by the bravery of both these women, and wanted to know how this situation has worked out, so we spent some time asking them about their experiences getting to know each other.

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Kelli, You're the one who got the ball rolling on this by posting a need for a “surrogate grandmother.” That really strikes me as a brave thing to do. How did you get the idea, and what were you hoping for?

Kelli: Well, I was really feeling quite desperate, and the Lord kept bringing twoshirts to my mind. I fought the urge to post something for about a month. I wasn't sure what to say or how to say it. But once I gave in and started to type the post, the Lord gave me the words to say - especially the word “surrogate” - and from what I understand Donna had used the word surrogate to some friends weeks earlier. The Lord does move!

I just needed help. I was literally sitting on the couch with twin #2 on the 4th day of her being sick and said, "Okay, God! I'll Post!" Not knowing what to say or how to say it I posted. I have read my post and know that the Lord Helped me know what to say.

It sounds like you were very nervous about putting yourself out there like that.

Kelli: Of course, but I knew that I was doing what the Lord was telling me. I trusted that He would lead me to the right person or people. I have learned that when you put your trust in the Lord it is just that...you need to give it up and let God do the God stuff. When we try to control or predict the outcome, God can't move like He should. We need to get out of the way.

I’ve heard that you received at least one questionable response. How did you handle that?

Kelli: I did, and again I just put it up to the Lord. I sent a message to the responder a few times before I found out there was an issue. After I discovered the problem I said, “thanks, but no thanks.” And really, by then, Donna and I had met and I knew she was who the Lord had for me.

Donna, What made you respond to this need? What were you hoping for?

Donna: I'm a grandma of 6 who all live out of town. I love kids and needed to fill the void of having little ones around to love on and spoil, like a grandma can do. I was hoping to be the one who could help out a need for someone and at the same time fill my need.

Did you have any reservations about it initially? If so, how did you resolve those concerns?

Donna: I had no reservations at all. I felt if this person needed a surrogate grandma, I was the one.

Kelli, how did you decide Donna was someone you could trust?

Kelli: When I first read Donna's response, I got chills. that was my first clue. I knew that this was the person God wanted me to connect with. We tried a few times to set up a meeting. I think I was trying to get in God's way. I wanted to be "safe" and not meet her the first time in my home, but God had other plans. She persisted and ended up meeting us at home.

Tell us about that meeting. How did you arrange it, and was it awkward?

Donna: I contacted Kelli by email to set up a time and day to meet. After we got connected I went to her house, and got lost going there. It took me over an hour to find her then twenty minutes to get home. I know my way there now!

Kelli: Well, after she was lost for over an hour, she finally made it! (laughs) We got to know each other better over the phone [helping her find the house], so by the time she got here I felt like I knew her.

Donna: Kelli and I clicked right away, she is like me in many ways, we like to talk, we love our kids, and could share our lives immediately. I felt very comfortable with her talking about anything. The girls were shy at first. Their therapist was there too, which made the girls overwhelmed.

Kelli: It was not awkward at all. Although, I wasn't sure how to introduce her to the speech therapist who was here: "This is Donna, my...uh...friend, (who I have never met ), and she says matter of factly: "I'm the surrogate Gramma.” I said to myself, “yep, she is...”

Donna: The next time I met with them, we went to Children’s Hospital for a sweat test on Jacqueline. Kathryn was running all over the place and having a good time. I took them to lunch and by the time she brought me home we were real buddies and I truly love her and the girls. I feel good around them.

How do you think this has worked out so far? Are you glad you did it?

Kelli: Yes, I am definitely glad I followed my heart and listened to God. It's working out perfectly...as all things do that are God's design.

Donna: I am so blessed having the girls and knowing I’m making a difference in someone’s lives. I want Kelli to know she has someone who loves her girls and would not let anything happen to them.

Also, that she has someone to lean on, to talk too and is there for her too. I want to take the pressure off Kelli and give her some of her own time space. She is a good mother but like all of us, needs a break once in awhile, especially with 18 month-old twins.

It has changed my life too. It gives me time to think of someone else besides my aches and pains.

What has been your favorite moment? What sticks out from the past few months?

Kelli: The girls just clung to her and loved her from the start. It's darling to see their little eyes light up when I say we are going to see Donna. And they reply: "Do-do.” When we get to her house, they run up to the door so excitedly! It's great!

Donna: There are many favorite moments: seeing smiling faces coming towards me, the hugging and kisses I get from two precious babies. I love it when they come in and make themselves at home. They know where I keep the toys, They take over like they live there. I love it!

Yesterday, Kelli accidently knocked Kathryn down, she didn’t see her behind her. Kelli tried to say she was sorry, but Kathryn came running to me for hugs. It was heartwarming to me that Kathryn was secure enough to come to me like that. Kelli and I both laughed about it. Oh yes, they are starting to call me by my name!

I'm wondering if you've gained something from this you weren't expecting? What has surprised you about this relationship?

Kelli: I think for me, I have as much of a friend as I have a surrogate grandma. We bonded very quickly and strongly. She is truly what I needed and I thank God for leading me to her.

Donna: What I gained from this is a friendship that seemed to have always been there. I did not feel like a stranger with Kelli. It’s more like a family situation. She has family out of town like me so we connected as family. I've learned that we are all on this earth together and we should not treat people as strangers. We should show love and respect to all.

I’m a people person, so it is not hard for me to talk to people I don’t know. Kelli made it easy for me too, because she is like me in that respect.


The surprise about all this, is that we connected right away with trust, love and joy. How quickly the girls took to me and we all just fit together. I am so blessed by all this in so many ways. I love those girls and they bring me joy, love and peace.

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Our thanks to Kelli and Donna for participating in this interview, but mostly for being such an amazing example of how people are called to care for each other. You’re both a huge inspiration to us!

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